


Hormones or Not

by ShikiSha



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Crack, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, Gen, How Do I Tag, OOC!Sakura, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sakura - Freeform, Sakura why, WIP, therefore OOC!Kakashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 18:08:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17228717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShikiSha/pseuds/ShikiSha
Summary: This is probably a one-shot for now. Or a two-shot, rather, as Naruto, Sasuke and Jiraiya haven't shownI might continue, or fill in more. :)No beta





	Hormones or Not

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably a one-shot for now. Or a two-shot, rather, as Naruto, Sasuke and Jiraiya haven't shown  
> I might continue, or fill in more. :)  
> No beta

 

"Sakura, no" Kakashi said, with the air of long suffering practice (and a body carefully still and posed to grab the manic-child and run. So that's good. (it's better than he's had other times with her)). 

Itachi and Kisame stood there. 

Sakura's Big Green Eye'd him; her poor Sensei hadn't developed a defence yet. Oh no, he bemoaned to himself. "But," and here Sakura cast a 'subtle' look over her shoulder at them, "Sensei." 

Kakashi could feel the world hold it's breath - no, that was him. Just him. 

Sakura leaned forward a little, "Sensei", (and Kakashi continued to breathe -and somewhere in his head, he's continuing whittling away at that damn branch) "he's _blue_." Is whispered in an awe-inspired tone. As if the fact alone was magnificent to point out. Sakura looks at him - _no_ \- and success! Makes eye-contact, at this, and was that..? Yes. Damn. The Glint™ was there alright. 

 

Kakashi sighs quietly. It does not sound like a death rattle. 

Sakura, unbelievably -but-perhaps-really-plausibly-in-retrospect, turns towards the duo with an innocent air and childhood naivety full on show. Like a bunny, no. She can't read the air at all. And - 

then- (She does what, Kakashi has learnt since becoming her Sensei, all Sakura's do. She's the only one he's known. Kakashi is thankful for this, now knowing what he does.)

"Mei-nee says you can come back,"  Sakura says to them? To Hoshigake, surely. 

No- Ninja don't _do_ that. Internally, Kakashi whines. Something breaks. In his head. (Because absolutely, yes, this was a Sakura thing; he hasn't learnt yet how quite to stop it but- well. It's there.) He hopes it wasn't loud enough.

Heedless, she continues brightly with, "She knows what you did and she says she's Boss now, so come home." All Kakashi can do is pray she's done- 

"Also," Sakura follows/tacks on/quips because she secretly was put here in Kakashi's life to cause him suffering and challenge him unlike Gai ever has done before, "she says you're quote unquote: a moron." She beams at him. (Like she didn't just sign her death scroll)

Hoshigaki cuts an intimidating figure; he's strange enough to be even moreso. 

Hoshigaki, Kakashi expects, to try - because Kakashi will get there first- to cut Sakura down, too young, or throw his head back and laugh. He seems brash enough to do either. 

Instead: his eyes narrow, and he grins. Wow, he's really shark-like and definitely from Mizu, no doubt about those origins, Kakashi muses dasedly, anymore. 

"You have guts," he observes (and is that approval?), "so I'll ask you this, instead" (of killing you, Hound points out fairly). Hoshigaki tilts his head and tone slightly curious, asks,"how would you know Mei anyway, bratling?"

Like spectators to some sort of stadium sport, (or Chuunin Exams Kakashi's mind-voice points out. Kakashi needs a new mind-voice) Kurenai and Asuma and him, he supposes, look to Sakura and back and back to Sakura.

Sakura, ephemeral as her name, Glint practically shining like a lighthouse now, chirps, "Grandpa." 

"What." Hoshigaki.

So Kakashi isn't the only one blindsided by the little - Sakura, some part of him feels triumphant. Then another reminds him she's only twelve and - Kakashi wilts a little.

Sakura obliges, "Granddad had sex everywhere." She nods to confirm the fact. 

"?" "?!" - Everyone else. Including the newly arrived ANBU in the treeline either side of the river - all three of them, yep. Finally. 

Laughter, harsh, grating and loud, startles Kakashi. Besides him, Asuma clutches his shanks tighter and Kurenai's hands twitch.  

Hoshigaki, grinning now, crows, " really? Half-pint, this village isn't so bad if all the people are like that," he adds to his partner. 

("What" is the general deadpan and incredulous looks aimed at the infamous mass-murderer. 'Half-pint' really..? Yep, processed; those looks are faintly judging now. Staring at his feet still, but judging them. )

Sakura honestly emphasises, "everywhere." 

And that's it - he can't anymore. He just can't. That should be the full quota/allotment of Sakura, right? Slightly hysterical, some small already locked up part of Kakashi has started giggling (and it's not stopping - ). Kakashi interrupts, "Sakura," he disaproves, damnit (why doesn't it ever translate? Now only to make it translate), "-"

Before he can continue, Sakura turns to him, and apparently, message already sent, she's started turning towards him now - a miracle - and says in that wondering tone children adopt concerning wishes, dreams and observations about the world around them, "I sure hope I never get hormones." 

He tries not to project his incredulous disbelief too loudly, or at her. And after a thought, quickly -and subtly, they're ninja: subtle- signals all Jounin and Anbu around him to 'cease and desist' before anyone can say anything or react noticeably to a genin like Sakura. He preens when none of them visibly react. (Someone - people, still listen to him. It's not him; it's the genin). (So,) Their disbelieving stares at Sakura and her (cough) developing self - growing limbs, feet too big for her body yet, gangly frame, luckily pass over her head.

"Sakura you're twelve" damnit. He should have known he let his guard down; known his self-destructive/sabotaging streak would choose now. Well, he's already endeavoured; teach now waste not, so he points out, helpfully and gently, "You're already growing; hormones help with that."

And then his genin, pint sized, gangly, pink-haired ball of fluff, gives him a look that's 'are you dumb?', 'no. loudly no.' and vaguely pitiful all wrapped in one.

"But I'm not dumb" she deadpans reasonably. She's still looking at him pityingly.  

And there goes Hoshigaki again. With the guffaws.

Kakashi quietly mourned, at the last of his sanity, barely hanging on. 

Luckily, at that moment "leaf hurricane!" Is heard. 

Gai's here. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that was enjoyable, it was a fun idea. 
> 
> Let me know what you think, if you like. No BETA again, I know this is rough.


End file.
